The Mean One (2022)
Thoughts:
- Surprisingly nice Christmas open.
- “Cindy You Know Who”
- Nice change in color correction – desaturation for the death of the mom scene. Really nice.
- Gotta have those drone shots! Overhead driving shots.
- Why is there absolutely no car noise in the car?!?
- These drone shots feel a little like b-roll And the still shot inserts do not help the fake car driving vibe.
- What is going on with the cop and Cindy?
- Acting isn’t bad but the dad is chewing the scenery a bit.
- Plus, joking about the mom’s death causing PTSD seems… harsh
- Fireplace bats zoom in and booming jump scare. Good lord. Ugh.
- Nice rack focus through mirror shot.
- This sound is on steroids.
- Miss, uh, Cindy. I like how they get past the last name thing.
- Insensitive cop flashback – Monsters aren’t real. “never got a reliable description of the man.” He has not changed.
- Random insert shot of Santa looking dude behind the wheel of a parked car taking a hit off a flask.
- The dad really is painfully overacting.
- Christmas decoration montage. Ludicrously forced.
- The woman playing Cindy is pretty damn good.
- Thank god the dad is dead. Skewered eyeball for the win!
- What was up with the fish on the desk in the hospital?
- Is the nurse the same woman mayor Margie tagged with the sticker in the diner? Lack of extras??
- “Accurate description” again. The police are brutal. Even her love interest.
- Old man insert shot again.
- This thing feels very sloppily edited. The rhythm feels off.
- If I was this girl I would never ever set foot in that house again.
- Also, Deputy has got to learn that hitting on a traumatized woman is stunningly bad form.
- The mayor in this may well be worse than the one from Jaws
- Weird insert graphic with “The Rare Loopaloo flower” in the mountains. Strange cuts!
- Action scenes shot in hyper cut mess vision
- Jesus, this really looks a lot like the Jim Carey grinch
- Cindy badgering a victim for a witness testimony as she gets put into an ambulance. Ok…
- How is Cindy not a suspect?!?
- This writing is shockingly bad. The cops are terrible caricatures.
- The Santa party. What the fuuuuck. Reminds me of the joke with the Multiple Santas episode of the animated Tick series. A big flood of Santas sweeps up The Tick and his co-hort and he shouts, Look, it’s a Yule Tide!
- This scene in the diner has more lens flare than a JJ Abrahms flick.
- Big trail of blood into the fridge, so of course the waitress follows it in. But getting locked in might be for the best. Also, that back punch to face is the best part of this movie so far.
- What is up with the sound editing? It’s horrendous. Constantly inconsistent from shot to shot in the same setting during the Santa Con murder scene.
- Oh good. CG blood. Yay. Ugh. What even was that thing he stuffed the girl into? A meat grinder that’s right in the dining room???!
- The narration, at first ok, really feels intrusive by the midway point.
- Gotta hand it to them, they really are leaning into the idea of this being a real horror film despite the horrendously idiotic premise.
- This lady playing Cindy is way too good for this movie.
- Every still exterior shot feels like it’s a still with a photoshopped sign.
- Ha. The “Gri-” with the bartender calling out “Finch!” to cut off the old man. Silly. And they do it TWICE! Ha.
- The level of acting in the scene when Cindy goes to the Sherriff is unnecessarily earnest and intense. This movie’s tone is all over the place.
- SO many wallets! LOL.
- Does no one come to these mountains to look for people who have disappeared?
- Scene under the blanked in the Grinch’s lair is pretty good. Also, nice scoring with “Jingle Bells” off-key.
- Why is the threat of the Grinch immediately not a thing once they get outside the cave!? This movie is starting to feel like no one cares beyond making a quick buck.
- Gotta love those Skinemax style fades from scene to scene. So many.
- “I think something’s going on here,” says the Deputy who has just seen dead bodies in the Grinch’s cave. So fucking idiotic.
- Obligatory shower scene, non-nude of course. Oh dear. a love scene between these two?! Nice subversion of expectation! And a nice nightmare – makes sense.
- Oh good a Rocky-style training montage that’s set to definitely-not-Manheim Steamroller.
- Her being overjoyed about hunting The Grinch is… a weird psychology to say the least.
- Deputy investigates a STACK of fucking wallets
- She does tem push-ups, kicks a dummy, has a round of target practice and suddenly she’s a James Cameron heroine?
- The crawling on the fingernails was a nice touch.
- “If I burn, I’m pulling you into the pyre.” Mayor Margie. Oh boy.
- God, the victim photos – so bad. The fucking photoshop awfulness.
- Cindy’s muscle shirts are amazing. LOL. She’s gotten jacked in… a single day.
- A serious rumination about violence and vengeance in the middle of this thing… not what I expected to kick off the third act.
- Mayor Margie cannot even run a car stereo? How is she going to run a town?
- No way those stickers could be used that way, even if it is clever.
- Big reveal! The Sherriff and the Mayor knew and created a website that would attract hikers to the town so The Grinch would be fed. They also banned Christmas decor.
- The new Cindy, who exhibits stealth with a somersault across a room. Eyeroll. So much eyeroll.
- The news and social media re-cap is annoyingly artificial and off-key.
- Ending montage of Christmas is like a Target Holiday commercial.
- Parallel Universe line is very clever, honestly.
- Like how this turns into a Hallmark Holiday romance movie at the end. Redonk.
- David Howard Thornton got to do almost nada.
- Krystle Martin is the real hero of this thing – a stunt performer and it really shows during that rather impressive finale fight between her and the Mean One. But even more than her stunt work, her acting was shockingly good, often elevating material that most any actor would fail at bringing to life. She deserves better!
- Chase Mullins, as Jewish Deputy Burke, was decent and gets the job done the best he can given the wild unevenness of his character.
- Same can be said for Erik Baker who, as Sherriff Hooper, tries to make heads or tails of the proceedings and simply cannot. His character is insipid and irritating, and insensitive to the utmost level.
- Amy Shumacher, as Mayor Margie McBean, was dreadful, and clearly got the role because she was a producer on the movie
- Director Steven LaMorte has no notable credits, which isn’t suprising as his name means, in French, Steve THE DEATH.
Bottom Five Gifts in Movies
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) – Aunt Bethany’s Cat
In a movie filled with terrible gifts, Mae Questel’s Aunt Bethany wrapping up her cat as a gift is, for me, the gold standard.
The Graduate (1967) – Scuba Gear
Knight Rider’s own William Daniels is Dustin Hoffman’s clueless father who, along with Elizabeth Wilson, still treats his grown son as a little boy he needs to show off in what I would argue is the most uncomfortable scene in this Mike Nichols classic, and oh boy, is this movie filled with plenty of uncomfortable scenes.
Gremlins (1985) – Gizmo the Mogwai
Because, duh.
The Dead Zone (1983) – Psychic Powers
I was sorry to hear about your mother’s death, John, Mr. Smith. I understand she was a good woman. Christian woman. I’m not a religious man myself, I’m sorry to say. But I will say this. If God has seen fit to bless you with this gift, you should use it.
“Bless me”? You know what God did for me? He threw an 18-wheel truck at me! Bounced me into nowhere for five years! When I woke up, my-my-my girl was gone, my job was gone, my legs are just about useless. Bless me? God’s been a real sport to me!
Smile (2022) – The dead cat instead of a choo-choo train for the nephew.
Writer/director Parker Finn really went for broke in his 2022 debut film with scares and outright grimness, but at one point, he REALLY put his characters through the ringer with the brithday party sequence for the lead character’s young nephew.
Kick Two Pick Two:
It’s a Wonderful Life
A Christmas Story
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Muppet Christmas Carol