Masters of the Universe (2026)
The pedigree is solid!
Directed by Travis Knight who previously did the only decent live action Transformers movie, Bumblebee, and also the fantastic Laika Entertainment film, Kubo and the Two Strings. It’s also written by another Laika alumni, Chris Butler, who co-wrote ParaNorman and Kubo, after cutting his teeth as a storyboard artist on things like Coraline and Corpse Bride. It’s also co-written by Brothers Aaron and Adam Nee, but beyond the rather trash Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum vehicle The Lost City (which borrows HEAVILY from Jewel of the Nile, without the charm), they’ve done nothing of particular note. It’s also co-produced by Robbie Brenner, the Executive Producer of Mattel films, and his name graces a few biggies, most notably 2023’s Barbie, and 2013’s Dallas Buyers Club.
Cinematographer Fabian Wagner is probably best known as the desaturation expert behind Zack Snyder’s Justice League, but he’s also got a lot of notable stints on his resume, including several trips to Westeros as DP for both Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon. He also did Venom: The Last Dance, which I quite liked. (I do enjoy me some Venom movies.) But good goddamn the music score and the editing! That’s where the real talent shines! The guy who edited this is Paul Rubell, who happens to be Michael Mann’s go-to editor. He did The Insider, Collateral, and Miami Vice, as well as the harrowing recent release The Lost Bus with Matthew McConaughey driving a school bus through a California wildfire. As for the score, that’s by the incredibly busy Daniel Pemberton, who has done some very memorable work on films such as Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and Across the Spider-Verse, as well as Eddington and Project Hail Mary. He’s also a Michael Mann colleague (Ferrari), so this movie is stacked with interesting talent.
As good as the talent behind the camera may be, it has some pretty notable talent onscreen as well. While Adam/He-Man is played by relative newcomer Nicholas Galitzine, he’s backed by some more seasoned talent like Idris Elba as Duncan (Man at Arms), Alson Brie as Evil-Lyn, and yeah, Jared Leto as Skeletor, who is 100% exactly as derpy as he should be. Galitzine is excellent as Adam, self-effacing, charmingly goofy and handsome, but unassumingly so. While he’s aware of his past, he’s almost at the point of believing he’s actually made up all of his history on Eternia when suddenly his life is turned upside down by his finally tracking down the magic Sword of Power, which he immediately lost as a child when he was sent to Earth Howard the Duck Style. Anyhow, this guy is great as Adam, but matching him every step of the way is the excellent Riverdale veteran Camilla Mendes as Teela, the daughter of Elba’s Duncan, who has taken a turn for the worse after Eternia falls under Skeletor’s rule. Mendes is tough yet tender as Teela, likeable and charming, but very efficient as the kicking all the ass. There’s some flirtation between she and Adam, but it’s understated and that restraint is to the film’s credit. It feels like they wanted to do more with these characters down the line, but disappointing box office casts some doubt on whether or not we’ll see these players again.
But boy was MGM/Amazon banking on this being a success. This thing was budgeted around $170-$200MM and it’s only grossed a touch over $100MM so far, thus the several end-credit teasers, with Orko, She-Ra and a possibly reanimated Skeletor, may well be just wishful thinking.
And how was Jared Leto as Skeletor? Fine! I know there’s a lot of hate going around for Leto since there are tales of his being a sex pest and possibly even indoctrinating young women into some kind of cult of worship for him, but you know… I’m not sure why, but I really like him as an actor. I thought he was very good in Tron: Ares, and that film is probably the only one of that series that I truly enjoy watching! I also though he was quite good in House of Gucci and in Apple+’s WeCrashed about that weird WeWork couple that swindled many an investor while living large and pretending to run a successful multi-million dollar business. And yes, I like Leto’s Joker from Suicide Squad. So shoot me. I thought it was a neat new take on things and I like how big a swing he took. Hell, I even liked a song from the last 30 Seconds to Mars album, so I don’t know, maybe I should join his weird-ass cult.
All this praise, but the film does falter: Alison Brie’s simply miscast as Evil Lyn, and while she does a fine job of working opposite what must have been a very odd co-star in Skeletor, balancing the right mixture of fear and unflagging loyalty, she’s also… just not Meg Foster. Face it, when you talk Masters of the Universe, you have to talk about the original film from 1987. And when you talk about that movie, well, there’s not much to say that’s particularly good about it except maybe Meg Foster – she of the icy blue eyes who played the love interest-turned-villain in JohN Carpenter’s They Live – as Evil Lyn, the second-in-command to Frank Langella’s over-the-top Skeletor. And yes, I liked Langella too, but I feel the new movie better nails the humor of the character better. He’s tough, sure, but he’s also a total ninny, telling dumb jokes and acting endlessly petulant. He’s like a nine year-old with a skull mask and a pair of laser pointers. And that’s the Skeletor I remember from when I was young.
Mike, you asked me at some point what my history was with Masters of the Universe, and I think my answer was “I was more of a GI Joe and Transformers” kid. That’s true, but what’s funny is as I was watching this new movie I suddenly remembered all of these characters and the toys. It was a big unlocking that went down, and I was having a pretty joyful time watching all of these weirdo characters from my past come to life vividly in a well-rendered, and rather reverent reimagining of the universe. This movie really was a ton of fun, an action-packed, often very funny adventure with some knowingly dumb characters and a terrific framework in which to bring them all alive: Adam was stuck on Earth and has been obsessing about all of these strange characters for 15 years years, giving them the ridiculous names the toys were sold under – Fisto, Ram Man, Mekaneck – because he forgot their real names. Brilliant. Of course, the jokes with Fisto “fisting people” and Ram Man “giving head” became groaners once they tried to go back to the cow more than once. It’s what you always tell your kids, Mike – funny once, not funny a lot.
Thankfully, most of Masters of the Universe doesn’t fall into that trap. The Laika vets know how to tell a good action story with a heart, and this movie has some things to say about toxic masculinity and what it really takes to be a “he man” which I found slightly subversive. That said, Adam’s corporate take on teamwork did feel a little forced, as if Amazon was breathing down the producers’ necks and telling them to include some of their best HR practices (although these get parodied pretty hard by SNL alum Sasheer Zamata as Adam’s ultra-corporate boss, Suzi.)
All in all, I loved this trip to the movies with my boys and you, Mike. It felt like Guardians of the Galaxy, but with He-Man dolls, and I was totally in the mood for that mix of reverent nostalgia and wink-nod comedy. It’s surprising that, so far at the movies, we have yet to catch a total dud even as we try to do so! Red One (aka Code Red), Twisters and now Masters of the Universe. Is this a bad movie podcast or not? Or is it maybe that we have bad taste?
Bottom Five Faux Tough Guys
#5 – Marsellus Wallace – Pulp Fiction
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Look, I know this one’s going to be controversial right out of the gate because I absolutely adore Ving Rhames in this movie. In fact, I think he gives one of the great supporting performances of the ’90s. But hear me out.
Marsellus Wallace is feared by everyone in Los Angeles. He commands respect with a whisper. People tremble at the mere mention of his name. But when you stop and think about it…what does Marsellus actually do?
He gives speeches. He issues orders. He hires Vincent and Jules to solve his problems. When Butch double-crosses him, he gets hit by a car, kidnapped by a pawn shop owner, and tied up in a basement. Even his most iconic threat isn’t “I’m going to kill you.” It’s “I’m gonna get some hard, pipe-hittin’ [guys] to go medieval on your ass.”
That’s borrowed toughness.
Now, to be fair, I don’t want to be the guy who tells Marsellus that to his face. But if your entire reputation depends on everyone else being terrifying, maybe you’re more CEO than tough guy.
Pulp Fiction turned Ving Rhames into an overnight star, and for good reason. He’s magnetic here. It’s one of those performances where the actor is so commanding that he actually convinces you the character is tougher than the script ever demonstrates. Honestly, that’s probably the greatest trick Marsellus Wallace ever pulls.
Pulp Fiction cost just $8 million, grossed over $213 million worldwide, and won Tarantino his first Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay.
#4 – Top Dollar -The Crow
Director: Alex Proyas
I swear Michael Wincott’s voice is doing about 90% of the heavy lifting here.
Top Dollar sounds like the coolest villain ever conceived. Gravelly voice. Long coat. Smokes cigars. Runs the city.
But if you actually watch the movie, his résumé is surprisingly thin.
Tin Tin does the killing.
Funboy does the killing.
T-Bird does the killing.
Skank does the killing.
Top Dollar mostly stands around looking cool while his army of goth henchmen earns his reputation for him.
Then Eric finally corners him and…he’s just a guy.
A wonderfully-performed guy. But a guy.
The irony here is that Michael Wincott became one of the great villain actors of the ’90s almost entirely because of that unforgettable voice. He’d later menace heroes in films like Strange Days, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and Alien: Resurrection. If you closed your eyes, Top Dollar might be the scariest guy on this list. Open them… and suddenly there are four henchmen doing all the work.
Michael Wincott’s naturally raspy voice came from a congenital vocal condition, not cigarettes or deliberate acting. It became one of the most distinctive villain voices in Hollywood.
The Crow was famously completed after Brandon Lee’s tragic death using early digital compositing and body doubles. Made for around $23 million, it grossed over $94 million and became one of the defining cult films of the decade.
#3 – Captain Henry Rhodes – Day of the Dead
Director: George A. Romero
Captain Rhodes has one volume setting.
SCREAMING.
Every sentence is a threat.
Every conversation is an order.
Every disagreement is met with a vein bulging out of his forehead.
Rhodes thinks leadership means yelling louder than everyone else, and he mistakes fear for respect. But the further Day of the Dead goes, the more obvious it becomes that even his own men are losing confidence in him.
He’s not commanding the room because he’s the toughest guy there.
He’s commanding it because everyone is exhausted.
Joseph Pilato gives a fantastically committed performance, and honestly, he’s one of the most memorable characters in Romero’s zombie saga. But if your entire leadership strategy boils down to screaming until people stop arguing, maybe you’re not the hardass you think you are.
Made for just under $4 million, Day of the Dead initially divided critics but has grown into one of the most respected zombie films ever made, thanks in part to Tom Savini’s astonishing practical effects.
#2 – Biff Tannen – Back to the Future
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Biff is the school bully every ’80s kid remembers.
He’s huge.
He’s loud.
He’s mean.
He’s always surrounded by his cronies.
And then George McFly punches him once.
That’s it.
The entire mythology collapses.
The truth is Biff has spent years terrorizing people who never stood up to him. The second someone actually swings back, he’s exposed as what he always was: an oversized bully who confused intimidation with strength.
Thomas F. Wilson deserves enormous credit here because he’s so entertaining that you almost forget Biff spends an awful lot of the trilogy getting humiliated by manure. He also has spent decades embracing Biff at conventions and is, by all accounts, one of the nicest people in Hollywood. In fact, he became so tired of fans asking him the same questions that he literally wrote a comedy song answering all of them. It turns out the nicest guy connected to Biff Tannen… was the guy playing him.
Back to the Future became the highest-grossing film of 1985, earning over $388 million worldwide on a budget of just $19 million.
#1 – Every Gang and Gang Member inThe Warriors (Except Swan)
Director: Walter Hill
I know.
I KNOW.
This movie has legions of devoted fans.
Mike may become one of them before I’m done talking.
But I have never bought these guys.
The Baseball Furies.
The Lizzies.
The Punks.
The Rogues.
The Turnbull ACs.
The Orphans.
Every gang in New York apparently decided that before becoming hardened street criminals, they first needed to hire a costume designer.
I understand Walter Hill was creating a live-action comic book. I understand the heightened reality. I understand the mythology.
I just don’t find any of it intimidating.
Mike, let’s be honest…
If I walked into Market Basket tomorrow morning and saw twelve grown men in matching baseball uniforms and mime makeup slowly walking toward me…
I’d be confused long before I was intimidated.
Actually…
I’d probably just turn around and go to Hannaford.
The lone exception is Swan, because Michael Beck wisely spends most of the movie acting like an actual human being instead of auditioning for Stomp.
What’s funny is that The Warriors has only become more beloved over time. Critics were mixed in 1979, but decades of midnight screenings, home video, and a hugely successful video game adaptation transformed it into a bona fide cult classic. Clearly I’m in the minority here… but if your gang spends more time coordinating outfits than committing crimes, I’m still shopping somewhere else.
Made for just $4 million, The Warriors grossed roughly $22 million during its initial release, though it became far more influential on home video. Today it’s considered a cult classic and has inspired everything from comic books to video games.