Frankenhooker (1990) Notes:
- Directed by New York City-based director Frank Henlenlotter who prefers to be known as an exploitation filmmaker and not a horror or comedy filmmaker.
- This was his third film, with his debut being the gritty, gross, disturbing and funny “Basket Case,” about separated Siamese Twins that go on a murderous revenge tour of seedy 42nd Street. His second film, “Brain Damage” was inspired in part by his own addition to cocaine and is about a man and his parasite… who go on a killing spree in New York.
- Crazy that this is written by Robert “Bob” Martin, who was the chief editor of Fangoria magazine all while I was growing up. I didn’t know “Uncle Bob” had worked on films and never knew he wrote this one until watching it this go-round.
- Then there’s Frankenhooker – the batshit craziest of all three of these batshit crazy movies.
- Crazily, there’s a quote from 1990 attributed to Bill Murray who apparently stated that “If you see one movie this year, it should be ‘Frankenhooker.'” Apparently Murray was editing “Quick Change” in New York around the same time “Frankenhooker” was being shot and he hung out with the crew, interested in what they were making. The distributor caught wind of this and tried to get Murray to endorse the movie, which led to Henenlotter’s embarrassment. He ended up avoiding Murray but later would cross paths with him and apologize, explaining he had nothing to do with the request. Murray apparently accepted the apology and offered up that quote to help the movie. It didn’t help.
- I love that the movie is set in a town called ho hocus in New Jersey.
- I think it’s great that Louise Lasser is in this movie. Although she’s looking a little rough. It’s hard to believe that this was only about 15 years after she starred in early Woody Allen comedies.
- The lead actor, James Lorinz, reminds me of Andrew McCarthy, but as an insomniac and with actual comedic chops.
- I love the beginning with the kitchen table because it sets the mood so well. The kind of absurdity of having to reach across all of the circuitry to withdraw a bottle of ketchup for his fiancé’s mother. It’s just too funny that he’s doing all this work in the kitchen while there’s a cookout going on in the backyard
- The news report is the stuff of legend. It might be one of my favorite soliloquies in a film. In any film.
- The background dialogue from Jeffrey during the opening credits is wicked funny. It’s just a bunch of improv foolishness. And at one point, he actually recites E equals MC squared, which positively sent me.
- The answer to Jeffrey’s exit existential rumination is Louise Lasser offering him an egg salad sandwich.
- The cinematography has this weirdly voyeuristic quality. There’s a bunch of shots where the cameraman is just right behind the actor. Following them. It’s a very strange vibe that it throws off. It’s cheap, but unique.
- I love how we unveils this secret electrical item that he stole from his day job, and all it is is a giant spark plug.
- Every joke is so good. The idea that he has dinner with her head and then her foot and her arm are just positioned on the dinner table next to the head. Too funny, but then he pours the wine into the head and it all drains out the neck, good Lord, too funny.
- Honey pie can’t you imagine yourself in this body kneeling on mom’s couch in the basement? So good!
- The way he puts his folded up poem into a severed hand, and then as he’s placing the hand back in its bath, he actually says. I’m not sure why he does it, but it’s gold.
- Driving through the combat zone Jeffrey comments that it’s like a smorgasbord and a buffet when he’s looking at the hookers.
- You gotta wonder how much of this movie was actually written as far as the dialogue goes. Because it seems like all Jeff is doing is riffing the entire time.
- Of course Amber is my favorite when she walks over. Are you even kidding me right now? I don’t know who this actress is, but goddamn.
- Pimp is named Zorro. That’s the best name this site of Guido the killer pimp in Risky Business.
- What does the drilling into his brain mean?
- Supercrack – breaking bad if it were done as a Looney Toons cartoon
- No no, not the devil’s music!!! When the girls are partying with the super crack.
- The exploding hooker scene is pure genius. The sounds of fireworks really makes it sing.
- Collecting the body parts: whoa… we gotta get another shoe.
- Arc welding body parts together because of course he is,
- “Oh my God… BUNIONS!”
- I’ve said it many times before, but maybe never on record, but I genuinely believe that Patty Mullens gives the single best comedic performance by any actress. Ever. Kathleen Turner in “Serial Mom,” (and “The Man With Two Brains”), Madeline Kahn as “Mrs. White” in “Clue” and Katherine Hahn in “Bad Moms.”
- The ten minutes or so when Elizabeth is resurrected and running free in NYC is among the funniest damn sequences ever in movies.
- “It’s like a soccer game” says Jeffrey as he works his way through a crowd in the club to get Elizabeth after he head is knocked of by Zorro.
- “There wasn’t enough left of you to fry and egg with.”
Quick Synopsis
- Frank Henenlotter’s third feature — after Basket Case (1982) and Brain Damage (1988) — and easily his most unhinged.
- Story: Inventor Jeffrey loses his fiancée in a freak lawnmower accident, then rebuilds her using parts from New York sex workers.
- Equal parts sleazy, absurd, and oddly sweet.
Production & Crew Trivia
- Frank Henenlotter – New York City filmmaker who rejects the “horror” or “comedy” labels and instead calls his flicks “exploitation.”
- Basket Case: gritty, gross, hilarious tale of vengeful separated conjoined twins tearing up 42nd Street.
- Brain Damage: a man and his brain parasite go on a killing spree; inspired by Henenlotter’s own cocaine addiction.
- Writer: Robert “Uncle Bob” Martin – former Fangoria editor-in-chief during its golden era; surprising turn as screenwriter here.
- Crazily, there’s a quote from 1990 attributed to Bill Murray who apparently stated that “If you see one movie this year, it should be ‘Frankenhooker.'” Murray was editing “Quick Change” in New York around the same time “Frankenhooker” was being shot and he hung out with the crew, interested in what they were making. The distributor caught wind of this and tried to get Murray to endorse the movie, embarrassing Henenlotter. He ended up avoiding Murray but later would cross paths with him and apologize, explaining he had nothing to do with the request. Murray apparently accepted the apology and offered up that quote to help the movie.
- Cinematography: Cheap but distinctive, with voyeuristic hand-held tracking shots just inches behind characters.
- Set partly in Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey — best small-town name ever.
Cast Highlights
- James Lorinz (Jeffrey): like Andrew McCarthy after a week without sleep — but with better comedic timing.
- Louise Lasser (Jeffrey’s mom): sitcom royalty (Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman) and early Woody Allen muse; looking rough here but game for the absurdity.
- Patty Mullen (Elizabeth/Frankenhooker): hands-down one of the greatest comedic performances by an actress, ever — in the same league as Kathleen Turner (Serial Mom), Madeline Kahn (Clue), Katherine Hahn (Bad Moms). Only two acting roles ever for Mullen. Life is so unfair. “DID YOU SEE WHAT GOOOOOOODDDDD DID TO US?”
- Beverly Bonner, the Hooker with a heart of Gold from Basket Case turns up here AS THE SAME CHARACTER (Casey)
- Zorro the pimp: in the pantheon of pimp names right next to Guido the Killer Pimp (Risky Business). Played stiffly by Joesph Gonzalez whose only other screen credit is in Henlotter’s “Brain Damage” as “Guy in Shower.”
- Amber the sex worker: mystery actress, scene-stealer.
Notable Scenes & Running Gags
- Opening kitchen table scene: Jeffrey tinkers with brain circuits mid-cookout, reaching over wires to grab ketchup — sets the absurdist tone perfectly.
- Background chatter in opening credits: Lorinz improv gold, including randomly blurting “E = MC².”
- Louise Lasser’s comfort food solution: existential crisis? Have an egg salad sandwich.
- Secret electrical “heist”: Jeffrey unveils his stolen lab tech… a giant spark plug.
- Dinner with dismembered fiancée: head, foot, arm placed at the table; pours wine into head, drains out neck.
- Combat Zone drive-through: Jeffrey ogles the hookers, calling it “a smorgasbord… a buffet.”
- Supercrack: Breaking Bad if directed by Tex Avery; leads to the exploding hooker sequence — fireworks sound effects make it art.
- Arc-welding corpses: because of course he is.
- Elizabeth’s NYC rampage: ten minutes of pure comic gold; rapid-fire hooker clichés, zombie-like walk, “Oh my God… BUNIONS!”
- Club rescue: “It’s like a soccer game,” mutters Jeffrey while pushing through a crowd.
- Jeffrey’s postmortem quip: “There wasn’t enough left of you to fry an egg with.”
Choice Quotes
- “Honey pie, can’t you imagine yourself in this body kneeling on mom’s couch in the basement?”
- “No no, not the devil’s music!!!” (as the girls party with supercrack)
- “Whoa… we gotta get another shoe.”
- “It’s like a soccer game.”
- “There wasn’t enough left of you to fry an egg with.”
Overall Takeaway
- Frankenhooker is gleefully tasteless, aggressively weird, and loaded with moments where you have to ask, “Was this scripted or is Lorinz just riffing?”
- The movie’s genius lies in its blend of cheap effects, fearless performances, and a willingness to lean into its own ridiculousness.
- Proof that exploitation done with charm can be funnier than most straight comedies.
Bottom Five Girlfriends
Now, before we begin, I should point out that this list feels almost unjust given the film we’re reviewing today. Frankenhooker might acually be the world’s most literal “bad boyfriend” movie what with Jeffrey Franken saving his girlfriend’s head so he can mount it onto a body comprised of hooker parts. So doing girlfriends instead is like blaming the cat for the half-eaten shoe you find by the dog bed. But rules are rules, so here we go…
5.) Woody Woodpecker (2017) – Vanessa
Brazilian actress Thaila Ayala plays Vanessa, the mercenary girlfriend of Timothy Omundson’s land-developer jerk in Woody Woodpecker. She’s materialistic, insufferable, and — mercifully — gone from the movie before you realize it. Directed by Alex Zamm, the film was savaged for its nightmare-fuel CGI bird and skipped U.S. theaters entirely, going straight to video… yet somehow became a hit in Latin America. Ayala later joked the production was “just like a cartoon” — though whether that’s fond nostalgia or a cry for help remains unclear.
And yes, this technically makes her one of the few girlfriends to be upstaged by a CGI woodpecker who laughs like a tea kettle from Hell.
4.) Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010) – Ramona Flowers
Mary Elizabeth Winstead plays the ever-enigmatic Ramona Flowers in Edgar Wright’s hyper-stylized comic adaptation. On paper, Ramona is the dream girl — mysterious, multicolored hair, rollerblades — but in practice, she’s a romantic landmine. Scott (Michael Cera) must battle her “seven evil exes” to date her, only to find she’s emotionally unavailable and endlessly evasive. Wright’s kinetic editing and visual flair turned the film into a cult favorite, though it flopped at the box office, grossing $49 million against a $60 million budget. Winstead has said she viewed Ramona as someone “figuring herself out” rather than manipulative — but from Scott’s POV, she’s the girlfriend equivalent of a video game boss fight that leaves you wondering if the prize was worth it. Honestly, she’s less “dream girl” and more “Steam achievement you regret unlocking.”
3.) Marathon Man (1976) – Elsa Opel
In John Schlesinger’s paranoid thriller Marathon Man, Marthe Keller plays Elsa Opel, who seems like the perfect cultured European girlfriend for Dustin Hoffman’s “Babe” Levy… until the truth comes out. Babe’s brother Doc (Roy Scheider) exposes Elsa’s ties to Nazi war criminal Christian Szell (Laurence Olivier), but not before she’s charmed Babe into bed and lured him straight into the hands of her sadistic bosses — twice. She briefly redeems herself by taking a bullet meant for Babe in the final act, but that’s after she’s essentially served as Szell’s concierge of betrayal. The production is famous for Hoffman’s method clashes with Olivier (cue the legendary “Why don’t you just try acting?” quip), but Elsa deserves her own notoriety as a girlfriend whose pillow talk comes with a side of war crimes.
2.) To Die For (1995) – Suzanne Stone
Nicole Kidman’s Suzanne Stone is what happens when ambition comes with a body count. In Gus Van Sant’s satirical To Die For, Suzanne’s dream is to be a famous TV news personality — and nothing, not even her marriage to Matt Dillon’s Larry, is going to derail that. When Larry suggests she take time off for family life, Suzanne instead turns her flirtation with high school student Jimmy (a baby-faced Joaquin Phoenix) into a full-blown seduction… and then convinces him to kill her husband. Loosely inspired by the Pamela Smart case and scripted by Buck Henry, the film is a razor-sharp portrait of narcissism and media obsession. Kidman won a Golden Globe for making Suzanne both magnetic and monstrous — the kind of girlfriend who won’t just break your heart, but will happily make you a Dateline episode if it means avoiding a career setback.
1.) Midsommar (2019) – Dani Ardor
Florence Pugh gives one hell of a performance in Ari Aster’s pastel-daylight nightmare, and for that she’s been canonized by a corner of the internet as a flower-crowned avenger. But strip away the aesthetic and what you’ve got is one half of a mutually toxic relationship—emphasis on “toxic.” Dani is emotionally fragile, yes, having endured a horrific family tragedy, but her boyfriend Christian (Jack Reynor) sticks around less out of love than paralyzing guilt. He’s a coward, sure, but she’s no picture of healthy coping mechanisms either. When their ill-timed Swedish getaway lands them in the clutches of a cheery death cult, Christian is drugged, seduced, and then publicly humiliated in a ritual sex act—which Dani witnesses with a mix of horror and… cathartic curiosity. Rather than just ghosting the guy and booking therapy, she elects to have him sewn into a bear carcass and set on fire, all while beaming like she just got the world’s best spa treatment. People call it “empowerment”; I call it a breakup strategy that could have been handled with a Post-it note and zero arson.
1.) Get Out (2017) – Rose Armitage
Played with unsettling perfection by Allison Williams, Rose Armitage is the ultimate “meet-the-parents” nightmare in Jordan Peele’s debut feature Get Out. Chris (Daniel Kaluuya) heads home with Rose, only to discover her entire family is in the business of boutique brain-swapping. Williams weaponizes her wholesome image — the keys scene alone still makes your stomach drop. Get Out was a cultural phenomenon, grossing over $255 million on a $4.5 million budget and winning Peele an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. And Williams has claimed she never played Rose as “evil” in her head… which is somehow even more chilling.
But maybe Rose’s worst crime is that she gave all future terrible girlfriends a new standard to aspire to. “Sure, I lied about my ex,” they can say, “but at least I didn’t auction off your body on eBay.”