Episode 46: Gonks Go Beat and Bottom 5 British Characters

Interesting Facts:

• Plot Premise: The film presents a futuristic twist on “Romeo and Juliet,” depicting two rival musical communities: Beatland, devoted to rock and roll, and Ballad Isle, favoring mellow ballads. An alien named Wilco is sent to unite these factions, leading to a series of musical showdowns.
  • Before anyone wonders if Jeff Tweedy is secretly a 1960’s mod movie fanatic, it’s more likely both Wilco the band and Wilco the Alien come from the radio call sign “Wilco” meaning, “Will Comply.”
• Musical Lineup: The movie features performances by notable acts of the time, including Lulu and The Luvvers, The Nashville Teens, and The Graham Bond Organisation. The latter’s lineup boasted future legends like Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce, who would later form the rock band Cream.
• Cultural Context: “Gonks Go Beat” emerged during a wave of British musical films aiming to capitalize on the popularity of rock and roll. However, unlike successful counterparts such as “A Hard Day’s Night” featuring The Beatles, this film didn’t achieve critical acclaim and is often remembered for its quirky premise.

Questions:

• The ‘Gonk’ Phenomenon: Gonks were novelty toys popular in the 1960s, characterized by their fluffy appearance and googly eyes, but as it turns out – from what I hear – they’re barely in the film! Did you feel shortchanged by the lack of actual gonks?
  • What’s more confusing: the fact that the movie is called Gonks Go Beat but barely features gonks, or the fact that it’s a musical about an intergalactic war between beat music and ballads?
  • Should we reboot this movie with a proper gonk uprising?
• Musical Diplomacy: The film suggests that music has the power to bridge even the most entrenched divides. Do you think the Mumble Rappers and K-Pop Stans of today could settle their differences through a similar intergalactic jam session?
• Casting Choices: With legendary musicians like Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce making appearances, do you think their involvement was a calculated move to lend credibility to the film, or were they simply in it for a lark?
• Cinematic Legacy: “Gonks Go Beat” is often cited as a cult classic for its unconventional storyline and production choices. In your opinion, does it deserve a place in the so-bad-it’s-good hall of fame, or should it remain a forgotten relic of the 60s?
• Comparative Analysis: How does “Gonks Go Beat” stack up against other musical films of the era, such as “A Hard Day’s Night” or “Head,” the wild cash-grab that the Monkees did with jack Nicholson?

Bottom 5 British Characters:

Given that Gonks Go Beat is about as British as afternoon tea, or at least I thought it was when I assigned it to you, I thought Bottom Five British Characters was the way for us to go with this one because, truth be told, this is a Bottom Five British Movie!

5.) British-Accented Star Wars Villains: (Technically not British – so maybe don’t use these!)

One of the most fascinating traditions in Star Wars is the overwhelming presence of British-accented villains. From the original trilogy to the sequels and spinoffs, the Galactic Empire (and later the First Order) seems to be staffed almost exclusively by posh, sinister, and condescending British men. It’s a trope that has become so ingrained in the franchise that it’s impossible to ignore—and totally deserving of a spot on this list.

1. Emperor Palpatine – The Original & Prequel Trilogies (1980-2005)
   • Ian McDiarmid plays him with an evil, Shakespearean glee. The ultimate manipulative, cackling British villain.
2. Director Krennic – Rogue One (2016)
   • Ben Mendelsohn’s power-hungry bureaucrat is a great blend of snobbery and desperation, making him both intimidating and pathetic.
3. General Hux – The Sequel Trilogy (2015-2019)
   • Played by Domhnall Gleeson, Hux starts off as a terrifying fascist, but by The Rise of Skywalker, he’s reduced to comic relief. Still, his shrieking Hitler-esque speech in The Force Awakens is pure British villain energy.
4. Count Dooku – Attack of the Clones (2002) & Revenge of the Sith (2005)
   • Christopher Lee. Enough said. He’s sophisticated, elitist, and sinister—a Sith Lord with aristocratic flair.
5. Admiral Piett – The Empire Strikes Back (1980) & Return of the Jedi (1983)
   • Kenneth Colley’s two-movie role – one of the only to somehow make it through the end credits of one – is less outright evil and more a perfect example of a stiff, nervous British officer who exists solely to be force-choked by Vader.
6. Grand Moff Tarkin – A New Hope (1977)
   1. The O.G. British Star Wars villain and perhaps the most ruthless of them all. Tarkin doesn’t just serve the Empire; he is the Empire, an unflinching bureaucrat with a casual disregard for human life. He makes Vader look like a subordinate, refuses to evacuate the Death Star despite clear danger, and blows up Alderaan without so much as an eyebrow twitch.
   2. Peter Cushing’s performance is iconic, giving Tarkin a chilling, aristocratic menace. Cushing was already famous before Star Wars, having played Baron Frankenstein and Van Helsing in the Hammer Horror films, where he faced off against Christopher Lee’s Dracula multiple times. His horror background made him perfect for Tarkin—his cold detachment in A New Hope is scarier than many outright monsters.

Jack the Ripper – Time After Time (1979)

• Played by: David Warner
• Directed by: Nicholas Meyer (Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country)
• Cinematography by: Paul Lohmann (Nashville, High Anxiety)

Jack the Ripper has been portrayed in countless movies, but never quite like this. Instead of lurking in fog-drenched alleys, David Warner’s version time-travels to 1979 San Francisco, courtesy of H.G. Wells’ (Malcolm McDowell) actual time machine. Turns out, Jack is thrilled to be in the future—because modern society, with its crime and violence, suits him just fine. Warner plays him as an eerily composed sociopath, delivering one of the film’s most chilling lines: “Ninety years ago, I was a freak. Today, I’m an amateur.” How does Jack the Ripper end up only at number 5 on a list of Bottom five British Characters? When he’s played by David Warner wearing a denim vest over a black turtleneck. Rizz for daaayyyyyys.

Fun Fact: Director Nicholas Meyer originally pitched this movie as Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack the Ripper, but when he found out that had already been done (Murder by Decree, 1979), he pivoted to this wildly creative H.G. Wells premise instead. David Warner, a master of villain roles (Tron, Titanic, Time Bandits), later became a Star Trek legend, playing three different characters across the franchise—including a Klingon chancellor and a Cardassian torturer.

Mr. Bytes – The Elephant Man (1980)

• Played by: Freddie Jones
• Directed by: David Lynch (Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Twin Peaks)
• Produced by: Mel Brooks (Yes, that Mel Brooks!)

If you think The Elephant Man is a gentle historical drama, you must have forgotten about Mr. Bytes. Played by the eternally unsettling Freddie Jones (whose resume is full of creepy roles, from Dune to Krull), Bytes is less a person and more a human grease stain. He treats John Merrick (John Hurt) like an animal, selling him as a sideshow attraction and literally locking him in a cage. Every scene he’s in makes your skin crawl, which is probably why David Lynch cast him as Lynch’s entire career is about making people uncomfortable.

Fun Fact: This movie was produced by Mel Brooks, but his name was left off the marketing so audiences wouldn’t assume it was a comedy. Yes, the guy behind Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein was responsible for getting David Lynch’s career off the ground.

Jasper – The Holiday (2006)

• Played by: Rufus Sewell
• Directed by: Nancy Meyers (Something’s Gotta Give, What Women Want)
• Cinematography by: Dean Cundey (Jurassic Park, Back to the Future)

Jasper isn’t a villain in the traditional sense—he doesn’t put people in cages or murder people in dark alleys. No, Jasper is a different kind of monster: The manipulative ex who won’t let go. Played to smarmy perfection by Rufus Sewell, Jasper keeps poor Iris (Kate Winslet) on the hook just enough to prevent her from moving on, all while fully engaged to someone else. He’s The Holiday’s version of the dude who texts “Hey, you up?” at 2 AM after ghosting you for six months.

Fun Fact: The film was shot by Dean Cundey, one of the most famous cinematographers of all time, who made The Holiday look like a warm Christmas dream—but he also shot Halloween (1978). So if you ever get an eerie feeling watching this rom-com, maybe it’s because Michael Myers’ cinematographer was behind the camera.

The Dursleys (Especially Uncle Vernon) – Harry Potter Series (2001-2010)

• Played by: Richard Griffiths (Uncle Vernon), Fiona Shaw (Aunt Petunia), Harry Melling (Dudley)
• Various Directors: Chris Columbus, Alfonso Cuarón, Mike Newell, David Yates

For a series packed with dark wizards and soul-sucking dementors, the real horror of Harry Potter was always living with the Dursleys. Uncle Vernon (Richard Griffiths) leads the charge as a man whose entire existence revolves around making sure his orphaned nephew has the worst childhood imaginable. He’s mean, petty, and constantly on the verge of a coronary from pure rage. He’s also the worst liar in human history—who else tries to convince a child that a bunch of letters aren’t arriving by physically moving him to a lighthouse?

Fun Fact: Richard Griffiths was so respected as a stage actor that Daniel Radcliffe personally requested him for the lead role in Equus (Ek-wuhs) years later. Meanwhile, Harry Melling (Dudley) went on to star in arthouse films like The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and The Pale Blue Eye, meaning he had a better career than half the wizarding world. Fiona Shaw, for her part, is one of the most recognizable actresses in film – one of the few “that guys” that’s a lady, she’s been in everything from Pixels as a Prime Minister to your beloved The Avengers as Father, although many people may know he better from her TV roles on Killing Eve and True Blood!

1.) Bill Sikes – Oliver! (1968)

• Played by: Oliver Reed
• Directed by: Carol Reed (The Third Man, Odd Man Out)
• Cinematography by: Oswald Morris (The Man Who Would Be King, Fiddler on the Roof)

Bill Sikes doesn’t just lurk menacingly in Oliver!—he haunts the entire film like an abusive ghost in a top hat. Played with terrifying intensity by Oliver Reed (who spent most of his career playing either violent criminals or drunkards because, y’know, he was one), Sikes is the kind of villain who doesn’t scheme or monologue—he just kills people. And talk about Childhood Traumas – the murder of Nancy is one of the most chilling scenes ever put in a family musical. If you watched this as a kid like I did, there’s a good chance his dead-eyed glare is forever burned into your memory. This was a definite oversight on my bottom five from a couple shows ago as he STILL gives me the shivers.

Fun Fact: Oliver Reed (Bill Sikes) was actually director Carol Reed’s nephew, making this a bizarre family reunion. Imagine your uncle directing a massive, award-winning musical and saying, “You know who’d be perfect for this terrifying, child-traumatizing role? My nephew!” Reed was known for his meticulous control over visuals in movies like The Third Man and Odd Man Out, which made Oliver! one of the most strikingly shot musicals of its time and helped it get nominated for no less than 11 Oscars, wining five, including Best Picture and Best Director for Reed. A musical was the one kind of film Reed hadn’t made in his career, and it put a capstone on his legacy.